day 2 and anxiety

well I made it back for a second posting, although I will be away from my computer for a few days but hopefully will get right back on track.

I'm thinking about anxiety and how my anxiety effects my own children. Ironically, I think for the most part I am a pretty laid back person, but when we have an event--family, social, a trip, etc, I get very anxious. Yes I have self-diagnosed from tv commercials--sounds like SAD--social anxiety disorder, but would rather not do any drugs, so instead my anxiety manifests itself through making list after list, occasional panic attacks, and wildly zipping around the house to cover all the details. how is this behavior perceived by my own little primates?

M is very anxious--he's exactly like me, and we hear a lot of "I hate school" "I hate parties" "I want to stay home". C is her father's daughter and just totally goes with the flow.

Children are so open and receptive to everything that goes on around them--things we do and don't even notice are things they internalize. The influential power we have as parents, teachers, adults, on little primates is enormous. I often think of my dad's similar anxiety, even my mom's, and wonder if that's why Im so anxious. but there is no blame here--just looking for reasons--not rationalizations--reasons. I suppose if there is a predisposition in the child toward a particular personality trait that is nurtured--whether knowingly or not, it will develop. So I am going to try to curb my anxious behavior--get a grasp on it, at least in front of the kids--and see if that will help M.

I hope it's never too late to learn from a mistake. that's a theme I'm going to explore next year with my class--using your mistakes. So many little primates today are afraid to take risks as learners, afraid to make a mistake or not do something perfectly the first time. this affects many adults too as it was probably unknowingly nurtured in them as children. so we will focus on identifying mistakes and figuring out ways we can use them to our advantage. that's just a general theme--this is how I teach--big themes that sprout meaningful life lessons. I usually develop my plans as I go, trying to take advantage of daily experiences and letting those lead my teaching. I prepared a big sign that states: "use your mistakes" for the wall. subliminal message and also a reminder that we are considering this thought all year. we'll see......