lesson for the teacher

Homeschool  requires quite a bit of risk-taking and learning on my part--more than I could have imagined!  As nature class at the Sanctuary drew to a close, there was a defining moment for me--canoe class.  I knew it was coming, and although I love canoeing, I have always been more of a passenger with an able adult on board to "lead".  Somehow, I imagined canoeing with the nature class meant a trained adult would accompany Seven and I, as clearly, I was an adult, but far from able.  THIS was not the case though, and I was sweating as the group leader gave instruction, distributed PFDs, and the city girl in me stood in fear that they were actually going to hand me paddles and set me afloat on the water with my son ALONE!  As I formulated a thousand different ways to say, simply, "I can't do this", I saw how eager and excited Seven was--oblivious to my quiet nervous breakdown--and realized this was a great opportunity to do what I ask him to do almost every day as a learner--try something new, something I was not sure how to do, take a risk.

So I sucked it up, grabbed my paddles and we headed out on the Ipswich River.  Lo and behold, canoeing is not that hard, and aside from a few crashes into the reeds (mostly when I tried to take pictures!), we did pretty well!  Most importantly, Seven was beaming and had a great time.  He was so empowered (as I was!) after the trip that he was begging to do it again as soon as possible.  On the way home, I confessed how nervous I was and that I really just wanted to tell them I couldn't do it, but I decided to try it anyways--and I was SO glad I did--because it was awesome!  And mostly, I loved just sharing the quiet time on the river with my boy--searching for birds and "what lurked beneath the surface."--his words.:)  I asked him if he could tell I was nervous, and he said he had no idea.  Then I asked him if he thought I did the right thing, and he rolled his eyes and said, "Of course, mama."

Always good to experience the vulnerability of learning as a teacher--probably one of the most powerful reminders of how learning can feel at times.  And looking back, how silly I was to be that nervous, and now, please, hand me the PFD!  Can't wait to do it again!

old man and the canoe

passing by a beaver lodge spotted by Seven--then we crashed