the situation at hand is that I am an early childhood teacher of 13 years, and now I am also a mother of a magnificent kindergarten eligible boy...and I am living in a school district I am NOT comfortable with entrusting him to.......for a variety of reasons, but honestly and most truly because it is not the school or even the school district in which I have devoted the past 10 years of my life. we are hostage in a home we have outgrown, in a school district which is not an option, and the possibility of my district granting permission for my son to attend is slim to none...and in light of the budget, leaning more heavily towards none. we can't afford to move (and this is a hard reality to face) without risking our entire financial well-being, yet fall 2010 is fast approaching and we are not registered ANYWHERE for kindergarten. so private school is our only option. and it's not a terrible option, it's an expensive option...but much less risky than renting or selling or...ugh I can't think about it anymore. we have turned over every stone. we are stuck.
I'm going down with the ship...I will hang on to that minuscule scrap of hope that he'll get into my district....I will dream he'll get into my school....I have to believe everything happens for a reason.
Lots of people have said, "it's just kindergarten", and in many ways I know this. In the grand scheme of life, this is a very small blip.
But what I believe as a teacher, as the teacher that I am, is that it is not "just" kindergarten. these early years are the most critical, of the utmost importance. these years lay the foundation, set the course, pave the way. and to not have my own "primate" experiencing these pivotal moments in my school, is personally devastating. I'm an early childhood teacher, and I can't provide what I feel is the best educational experience for my own child. it hurts.
And I don't think I could be the teacher I am without believing that. we'll just have to work a little harder, shift dreams and expectations, and set off on different paths.
everything in perspective: I am a very blessed person and I am grateful for all I have and all I am able to give.
knowing how expensive private school is... it may be cheaper to rent out a studio apt in our town :) (or we have 2 extra bedrooms on the third floor if the situation becomes desperate)
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